Friday the 13th

Normally my good day...at least it started out that way.

So here's where my head is now...

In short still stuck on someone who doesn't want to be in my life yet holds a piece of my heart. He gave me hope and filled me with what if...only to shut me in silence. Yet I still hang onto him! UGH!

The ex...........
Can he just disappear already? Just move on and leave me and the kids alone already? God how I wish could go back in time and do it all over again. No maybe I wouldn't have my kids if I did but maybe I would. They are the only thing that has come from him...THE ONLY THING! He's so happy and so in love then why don't he just run with that and get as far from my life as possible? Why keep trying to fuck my life up? What's a matter J? Don't like that you didn't break me and can't control me anymore? This is the last straw. I Will finish this quarter and most likely withdraw from the next quarter so you win there. It may take me 10 years to get my degree one class at a time but dammit nothing you do Will stop me! The kids are better off here anyways, go play with your "family". And I'll be laughing next time you beat someones ass and I'll be the one sitting in court making sure you don't get away with it again!!!

GOD DAMN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO PISSED OFF! AND NO the meds aren't working. Here we go again because all I feel like s a failure. No matter how hard I try someone always has to be here to fuck my plans up and hold me back!

I seriously am so pissed I think I'm gonna have a stroke!

Fuck It All!